Big Questions
The photo - my inspiration to return
1. What emotion do you unconsciously default to when you're uncertain — and how does it shape your decisions?
I default to overplanning. I recall instances from childhood when a situation caused insecurity or uncertainty; my approach has always been to overplan. I remember those dreaded “read aloud” sessions in elementary school when the teacher would have the students read a paragraph aloud. I would count several times how many paragraphs before my turn and then read the two before and after to make sure I didn’t flub a word. The thought of the class giggling at an error would make me panic. Fast forward to the present day, when I’ve gone to court, I have my files organized with tabs, and any points I want to make are on large font bullet lists. I even dress better than the judge.
On puppy pick-up days, I have checklists, color-coded tabs, packets of food, and probiotics. Everything is prepped, and that gives me confidence. During Jim’s illness, I wasn’t always as prepared as I liked, and it threw the entire day off—I looked as frazzled as I felt.
2. What core belief about yourself was formed before the age of 10 and is still subtly influencing your behavior today?
For example, believing "I have to be the responsible one" or "I'm not creative" may have stemmed from early experiences.
3. Which compliment makes you uncomfortable — and why?
Discomfort with praise often points to internal conflict about self-worth or impostor syndrome.
4. What do you do when no one is watching — and what does that say about your truest desires?
This can expose real passions, unmet needs, or tendencies you've suppressed.
5. What habit or pattern keeps repeating in your life, despite your efforts to change it?
Recognizing recurring relationship dynamics, career choices, or emotional reactions can unveil deeper psychological scripts.
6. What type of person drains your energy — and what might they be reflecting back to you about yourself?
Sometimes the traits we resist in others are shadow aspects of our own personality.
7. In what situations do you most often betray your own boundaries — and what are you afraid of losing if you don't?
This reveals where people-pleasing, fear of rejection, or self-sacrifice may be silently at work.
8. What do you avoid thinking about when you're alone — and why?
Avoidance is a powerful teacher. What you're dodging might be the thing that most needs your attention.
9. If someone followed you around for a week, what would they say your life is really about?
The gap between intention and action can be very revealing.
10. What secret hope do you carry that feels “too big” or “too unrealistic” to admit even to yourself?
Often the thing you most deeply want is hidden under layers of practicality or fear of failure.